THIRTY YEARS OF SUN & FUN SUMMERS SPENT AS A HOMEOWNER AT THE OCEAN CITY BEACH , THE GOOD, BAD & THE UGLY!

Considering MD taxes, OC municipal taxes, HOA fees, federal flood insurance, spring opening & winterizing costs, weekly lawn care, com-cast, trash pickup, and every other nickels and dimes expense it cost just to put an OC LOCAL sticker on your car,  you best own a bank to own a home at the MD beach.

Not so in DL, or south in VA!  Plus you will need handyman skills to repair or replace those little conveniences that deteriorate due to the extensive amount of salt in the air off the ocean.  The best SS will show rust in 5-7 days outdoors.

Even indoors the sea salt will attack metal surfaces like ants to sugar.  Electric outlets and any plumbing fixtures not made of white pvc will corrode. Aluminum porch railings will require annual cleaning and repainting.

The metal hardware that secures the decorative shudders on either side of your exterior windows will last about 2 seasons before you have to buy the all plastic toggle screws and replace all the rusted out metal screws.

You will also need your own pressure washer to power spray down your home exterior to remove the salt and dirt residue.  It can cost you more than the price of a new power washer to have one of the local spray pros do the job.

Even if you kept an air filter operating 24/7 inside with just air-condition, and closed windows,  the salinity in the air is unstoppable.

You will also find yourself replacing most of your metal surface appliance or fixture almost yearly, toasters, microwave items, and coffee makers.

The most fun of having a place at the beach, is each time to arrive, plan on spending the first couple days of your relax time, doing minor fixit or replace it chores.

The sales staff at Home Depot on RT 50 outside Berlin will become your best friends and acquaintances.   IF you can't fix it they can usually tell you what you need and how to do it.

The other PIA is your window screens.  There are only 2 places on the island that repair window screens.  Again MR. SALTY will devour your screening on a seasonal basis.

You will also need a well stocked tool closet with drills, saws, screw drivers, wrenches, hammer, chisels, and a whole bunch of other goodies to do those little home repairs that would cost you an arm and leg if you called the local dysfunctional handyman, whose watch is always an hour behind.

Two other must have items you will need are a good pair of knee protectors and a extendable exterior aluminum ladder.  Don't forget the 6 foot interior ladder.

Of course you will need an outside shed to store all your large equipment that's too big for the house.

Sorry if I painted a somber picture of life at the beach, but this is what I had to endure for nearly 30 years.

The worst part was the time it took away from running charter trips on my 32 foot, Grady White Sailfish Boat to the offshore canyons to chunk for tuna and Mihai Mihai. Like many other charter captains your boat becomes your mistress.  My mistress's name was "SPRAY."

I docked mistress "SPRAY" at the Shanty Town Marina. Upon my return from a day of offshore fishing.  We would drink a couple of beers at the dockside open-air  bar. This was in the early 90's before I knew what pickleball was. I was a hell of a lot younger than,  and lot better looking.

I still enjoy being out on calm back waters.  But now its in my canoe, aka "SPRAY 2."

I know many of my pickleball friends have places at the beach, and would discount much of what I said.

But I told it like it was, and yes there were a lot of great times spent in the sun and surf.  But I was a hell of a lot younger and better looking in those days.

As an act of good faith I left all my tools there for the new owners, just in case.

Now if I ever decide to visit the MD Beaches, I will make a reservation at the Hilton, book an offshore fishing trip with one of my old charter captain friends, eat out every night, and have a few beers at one of the marina dockside open-air bars. And it will be less expensive than staying  in my own OC castle.

The one thing I will miss are those THRASHERS FRENCH FRIES down on the board walk.

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